Be Picky When Picking a Stepparent

In 2015 blended families are the norm, but it is still a very difficult adjustment. As parents we should be highly critical of who we have around our most prized possessions. Unfortunately, in many situations this is not the case because we get caught up in our own feelings. I am a true believer that sharing DNA does not make you family. I have so many friends who had far better stepparents than biological parents. This rant is for those thinking about getting serious with someone. So the question is how do you choose a mate as single parent? I know this is a polarizing topic, but that’s me…lol! I will talk about the elephant in the room. I have my badges of honor living through the blended family almost 20 years. So, I want to share my two cents and what worked for me. 
Be selective- you should scrutinize everything about this person. I’m talking about background checks, mental health check, ancestry check, you get the point. You must go through an extensive vetting process. 
Take your time- get to know this person until you are comfortable.
Set the expectations- what do you envision for your family? Discuss the role of the biological parent and how they will fit in. 
Meeting your children- this should not be a surprise for anyone and communication is key. Your child has the right to know who will be in their life.
I can think of so many more important conversations needed to make a blended family run smoothly. I am just touching on a few things to think about when getting serious with someone. Just keep in the back of your mind, you don’t want you child on a shrinks couch in 20 years scarred from a bad situation. It takes a hell of a human being to take someone else’s child and love them as their own, but it can happen and those diamonds in the rough are out there!
Coach “K”

  

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